just watched the preview for the movie southlandtales (moby did the
soundtrack, so i have to see it). has an interesting apocalyptic feel
to it. another take on what the future holds for us. the end is near,
and all that jazz.
it isn't over until the fat lady sings.
so i'll keep writing. (who reads this crap anyway?)
i haven't written much lately, since i've made yet another switch in
my career, except e-mails. (i love my new job by the way.) but i used
to write or edit dozens of articles. i should write one just to keep
my skills up. i've got to continue writing.
without having any writing deadlines, i actually have time to start
thinking about something else besides work. in fact, since i'm always
answering questions about health, i find myself thinking of my own and
of my family's.
my grandfather, nono, is here in my house with me. he has all kinds of
minor health problems. can't go to the bathroom. goes to much to the
bathroom. he's losing his memory. his stomach hurts if he doesn't eat.
his stomach hurts if he does eat. he thinks he has prostate cancer all
the time.
the old guy's pretty healthy, though. a couple of days ago he walked
20 blocks, just around town. he found some cute old mexican gal to
flirt with too. he still thinks about those things.
drinks mate all the time and, when he can find it, a little red wine.
i picked up this writing style from moby's blog. i can usually pick up
a little of the style of what i happen to be reading and go with that.
a favorite is isabel allende. she's so colorful with her descriptions.
her stuff is so entertaining, even if it is all soap operas.
i think i just heard patricia wake up. she'll come over wondering what
i'm up to at 1 a.m. on the comp. maybe it was just my dog, lucy.
i also think about my head. all the things going on in my head. it's a
long, complex thing to think about. i told joe i had a
deconstructionist's mind.
i deconstruct everything. taking everything apart can be quite
confusing. i don't know if i'm absolutely set on any specific idea. i
don't seem to have any kind of conviction of anything. that's not to
say i don't live by certain guidelines. i do. i just think about what
it is to not have guidelines. my mind doesn't seem to have a set
philosophy.
i do try to stick to the most advantageous action of any situation. i
tend to obey a law of max profit with minimum risk. but, frankly, if
it's too much to think about...
my mind needs to be more disciplined. it needs more practice. it needs
chess. it doesn't need ramblings going on inside of it.
i have been learning lots of things lately. i've been reading,
writing, etc. as always. sometimes i just think a lot. think until i
can't sleep.
when i couldn't sleep tonight, i went to a small mexican fast food
hole where everyone spoke arizonan and there was no way i could relate
to anyone. i couldn't even understand how people could live like they
do. their whole life is limited by an immediate apperception of how to
act and be. and that is to hang out at a hole and talk about how they
wish they'd be asleep or drinking.
where am i? i'm wondering if a better life would be to hang out at a
hole and talk about how i wish i was asleep or drinking.
gosh, i probably should sleep. i slept in today, that's the problem.
my mind's been haunted by a thousand memories and wondering where i've
gone to. i need to start creating more memories, better memories.
i know this blog is all over the place. this is called free-flow writing.
i have fantastic childhood memories. almost all of them are about
traveling and the places i've visited. every time i tried something
new, that sticks out as a memorable moment. i should start getting my
kids away from the tv and trying new things every day. usually we go
to restaurants, the library or bookstore.
it's not enough.
we've planned a trip to sea world next week. i hope it helps the
happiness in my home.
ok, my mind just stopped thinking.
david
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